Katie Naftzger, LICSW

family therapist, adoption specialist, speaker, author

By

The Mistake That Adoptive Parents Make And What To Do Instead

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-little-chinese-girl-hanging-dad-s-back-image18104521How can I get her to understand that she needs to take school seriously?

How can I get my son to stop being so rude and belligerent?

How can I get my daughter to become more independent, and not so clingy?

How can I get my daughter to know that she’s beautiful and loved?

How can I get my son to stop being reckless and irresponsible?

How can I have a better relationship with my son?

I could go on and on, but I won’t!  As you’re reading this list, I’m betting that you’re nodding and saying to yourself, “Right, exactly!”  Every parent has been there and it’s stressful.  It’s so frustrating to know that your child is making decisions that aren’t in his or her best interest and feel like there’s nothing you can do.

Instead of parents asking, “How can I get them to understand that…”  the question that is more answerable and more workable is,

“What can I do to create an atmosphere that supports the values and good feelings that I want for my family.”  You, as the parent, have a tremendous amount of power, not always much control, but a lot of power.  And, when you can feel empowered they’re able make decisions in that mindset, it be tremendously impactful.

It’s easier to change yourself than it is to change your kids!  So, let’s just use the first question as an example, “How can I get her to understand that she needs to take school more seriously?”  Whether she takes school more seriously is up to her, but how you structure her homework time, her consequences for bad grades, her conditions for going out and playing with her friends, is up to you.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *